You have to love your butt in order to show it off, wield it as a weapon, shake it on a dance floor, back it up on a guy’s crotch, and rock it on a pool deck at a gay Speedo party (if you’ve never been to one, it’s coming). On your bottoming journey, you’ll have to learn some biology. And get this: Not all your no-go foods are no-go foods for everyone else, because some guys can eat whatever they want and bottom like a champ four hours later. A lot of this is science and biology: the process of digestion and consumption, how fitness and training regimens and certain chemicals reliably quicken or slow your “clock,” and how to “read” your body, relax your muscles, and experience intense, mind-blowing pleasure.
You do all this through trial, error, and actual reading. There are many world-class bottoms out there who are more than willing to share their expertise with the world — myself included.
You’ll fuck for years before you learn what works for you, how it feels, how you want it to feel, and what you need to do to get better at it. I still feel “bottom shame.” I still feel a little embarrassed when I say I’m a bottom.
It takes a few awesome hookups as well as some frustrated nights, failed hookups, messy sheets, and angry crying in the shower before you get in your bottoming groove. I was in the closet for the first 18 years of my life and I remember the things my peers in school would say. I think, perhaps, we were all just daring me to say it aloud.
Homophobes aren’t the only ones who give us “bottom shame.” We all contribute to it.
How often do you hear gay men cracking a joke about tops?
Forget everything you heard from your peers or your parents when you were growing up.