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(Excerpted from the book "Professional Stool Sampler Looking For Place To Sit: A Collection of Personal Ads From Alternative Newspapers," by Skippy Williams and Zohre Crumpton, (c) 1996, Simon and Schuster.)"I am spitting kitty.

Baby, you are my Tijuana Taxi.""Me -- trying to sleep on the bus station bench, pleading with you to give me a cigarette; you -- choking on my odor, tripping over your purse trying to get away; at the last moment, our eyes meeting. I am not looking for sex and thier is no money involved.

Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate. I will do this dressed anyway you wish or with out clothing if that pleases you.

Hope you enjoy these, or maybe get some inspiration! I am safe and sane ( I know you are questioning that about now)."HOW GREAT IS THAT?!

But these hyperbolic pronouncements miss a deeper fact: At its core, "online dating" isn't something we just started doing 5, 10 or even 20 years ago.

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