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So enjoy the sweet and totally not stupid novelty while it lasts until next summer when nobody will probably give a fuck. The people in Lake Zurich can be divided into three categories: 24/7 Assholes, Plain Old Assholes, and Depressed Megalomaniacs.

If that's not reason enough to go to Lake Zurich, then I don't know what is. But now, we have a dairy queen AT THE PIECE OF REAL ESTATE WHERE THERE USED TO BE A SONIC!

Not to mention you get to enjoy it for only THREE AWESOME MONTHS because the owners thought it would be brilliant, just fucking BRILLIANT, to open the place up in the beginning of fall when the weather begins to get cool and people don't wear roller skates anymore. Our mediocre ice cream joint got replaced by an older, equally mediocre ice cream joint. If it were possible for Lake Zurich to get an iota more boring, this would have done it.

Lake Zurich is a quaint and rather boring town up North in the Midwestern moral wasteland of Illinois.

It is known as one of the best places in the United States to raise a family, which is somewhat true up until the kids hit puberty and want to have sex and get into trouble with the law profusely.

They also thought it would be hilarious to raise families centered around a lake that's filled with Uranium and goose shit.