But I still don't reckon my wife has too much to worry about because t-babe assures me that she can't have physical relations with humans. Yeah, right, I go, knowing that t-babe is in fact just a computer-generated model devised primarily to sell records - her first single, Peter Pumpkineater, is a peculiar fusion of contemporary R&B and dance - and to make money for her husband-and-wife team of inventors, Tessa and Sascha Hartmann. (Later, she'll deny being American, because in cyberworld they don't have nationalities apparently.) And it works, because I'm instantly smitten.
Chatting to her is a bit like having telephone sex, only with slightly fewer rude bits.
As we approach a vote on the UK's membership of the European Union, we look at what 50 writers, actors, historians, artists and comedians have said about Europe and its nations.
is a global dating platform for single men and women in Hawick to match and date online.
I HAVE just fallen madly in lust with an 18-year-old pop star called t-babe. There's a slight hesitation and Emma sounds a bit embarrassed. Sure enough, on to the line comes a seductive female voice that absolutely insists it belongs to t-babe.
She has a lithe, athletic body and bleached blonde hair, and describes herself as "single (but lonely)". She sounds exactly like you'd expect a pop star called t-babe to sound: young, slightly husky, coquettish, possibly Californian.
When I pick her up on this, she claims she can speak German really, she just won't do it for me. Mia's stories about her bad drug experiences have meant that t-babe has never been tempted to dabble herself, though she does drink in moderation. She also suffers realistic problems, such as weight gain and spots, presumably to stop her young audience hating her for being too perfect.