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” as though I would smack my head and say, “Gee, why didn’t I think of that? People have commented, “But you seemed like such a happy couple.” That’s what we wanted you to think; that’s what we wanted to believe.

The bottom line is this: Such questions and comments just hurt, and they are unfair.

I have worked through the deep problems caused by my dysfunctional childhood.

Catholic dating after divorce

People should not have to justify their actions before they are loved for who they are. Divorce has released me spiritually, mentally and emotionally to become the person God created me to be.

I have been able to move on to a life that is fuller, happier and more creative.

It is too easy for those who have never experienced the desperation and sorrow of a failed marriage to believe that “they could have done something to save it.” Let me assure you, the divorced Catholics I know (including myself) are spiritual, forgiving people who are committed to family and to the institution of marriage.

And they did all they could to save their marriages.

Many of us, looking back, realize that God was simply not a part of our decision to marry. My intended was heading to a war zone for a year, and friends and family counseled me to wait. We have all attended enough weddings to recall what the priest or deacon always asks a couple at the beginning of the marriage ceremony: “Do you come here freely and without reservation?